A Handy Guide to Your (my) Snow Day

Saturday, 9:50am, FTF Sales Floor :Me: "Morning, Barry, how goes it?"

Barry: "Good, probably going to send you home in a few minutes."

Me: "Perfect!"


While today the snow has devolved into a slushy, sloppy, shit-show, Friday and Saturday were (for the most part) cold, dry, and gorgeous. An even layer of snow across the roads made for relatively easy riding, and awesome 5mph two wheel drifts. Here's a step by step guide to spending your snow day exactly like me, if you were so inclined:

Step One: Go home, make a couple of sandwiches (one PB and banana, one Ham/Chorizo/Chevre), and throw them in the backpack for later. Make sure to eat the pb/banana first. Go outside, where it looks like this:




Step Two: Get on the bike and ride across town. Make sure to stop and take a glory shot of your bike because, well, much like your child's first steps your bike's first snow is an important milestone, and all rides going forward will never be the same. Or the will be exactly the same, but whatever:






Step Three: Continue riding, make sure your first stop is the beer store. Buy two cans of Ballast Point Sculpin, a can of Oakshire's Watershead IPA, and a bottle of Gueze Boon. Save the Gueze for later. Oh, and it's been spitting snow the whole time, so your beard will probably look something like this:






Step Four: Play with clay. Throw some tumblers, throw a couple of small plates. Trim yesterday's plates. That will look something like this:






Step Five: Step five is also Beer. Beer is crucial during you snow day. Head to your favorite beer bar, and consume tasty ales. Drink more than you need to of a beer you don't really want, because the glasses are being handed to you and once the keg kicks Block 15 Sticky Hands is coming on, and that's a win for everyone:






Step Six: Watch a couple guys from US Outdoor session a little hip that they've built in their loading zone. Mentally give them bonus points for towing into said hip with an early 90's Audi:






Step Seven: The barley sodas have warmed you, and word has it that Bar Mingo is still open. Knock the ice off your saddle and grips, then go have some chicken livers on toast:






Final Step: Bed, early. Read, reminisce on a day well spent. Probably have another beer, that gueze is looking pretty tempting...